Retro Yakking

Photo by Shinjiman.

Okay. Somebody should have told me that Woolworths were closing down before I sent this email…

From:  Harry Yack (harryyack@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent:  19 December 2008 13:04:33
To: customer.relations@woolworths.co.uk

Good day Sir/Madam, I hope you are well.

I am fine, but one thing irks me somewhat and I can’t quite place my finger on it. This morning I made my weekly trip to the local Woolworths store to purchase my groceries and other various items which I cannot remember right now because I lost my shopping list somewhere down the back of the fridge. This is, however, irrelevant so I will return swiftly to the point.

Everything seemed to be fine until I got to the checkout, where there was absolutely nobody on any till whatsoever. “Strange,” I thought to myself, but continued to look for an available cashier. After searching for five minutes I eventually found an attendant in the far corner of the shop. Unfortunately, though, he would only respond to my queries with “got any spare change?”

Somewhat unperturbed, I proceeded to make my way home. Upon returning to my kitchen, however, it is fair to say that I was quite surprised by the contents of my shopping bags; instead of my usual bread and milk I had in fact picked up a broomhead and a half-empty bottle of Value lager. This made it all the more curious that the aforementioned attendant was so adamant I not have them that he hurled unintelligible profanities and bits of Pot Noodle at me. At the time, I really did think nothing of it as, being honest, it was an improvement on the service I had just received at Marks and Spencer anyway.

Come to think of it, my local Woolies is usually a lot busier than this around Christmas time. In comparison, the shop seemed relatively unpopulated, which rather took me by surprise.

I would very much appreciate it if you could perhaps shed some light on these rather bizarre incidents. I wonder if they in any way connected?

Yours sincerely,
Mr Harry Yack,
Lancashire

I await no reply, as I’ll bet all the enquiry desks are completely jammed, if not unmanned over the Christmas period. Never mind…

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