Dec 31 2008
Alternative tips for surviving the credit crunch
Have you been forced to eat Credit Crunch cereal recently? That ‘global financial turbulence’ those politicians keep babbling on about is starting to take hold, isn’t it? Well worry no more, for Yak’s top tips for surviving the credit crunch are here to save you pennies!
- Save on electricity by not voting on ITV/Channel 4 call-in shows and instead throw coins at people on the street, shouting at them to “dance like John Sargeant”. This way you might actually get some entertainment, too.
- Instead of buying newspapers, create your own custom ragtop with just a pen, cereal packet and the vocabulary of an eight year old. Make up your own stories about Posh and Becks, Amy Winehouse and Steven Gerrard, and for an added bonus email them to The Mirror who will print them in their own name. Fun for all the family!
- Save having to record your/a relative’s wedding by holding the function in the high street, then sending an SAE to the council to request the CCTV tapes. Hey presto, instant cheap wedding videos on brand spanking new VHS cassette.
- Forget buying fish fingers from the shop, instead fashion your own using newspaper shreds, carpet fluff and bits swept up from the floor. With a bit of salt, you won’t be able to tell the difference.
- Instead of having a cup of tea, why not drink a cup of air? It’s far cheaper, much less fattening and the buzz of oxygen is far preferable to caffeine.
So there you have it! Please, try them out, let me know how you get on, and if you have any more top credit crunch tips please don’t hesitate to let me know about them.
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Full of ideas, you! Must go and try each and every one of ‘um.
Interesting ideas. I specially like the 2nd one.
I think this is going to save me some money this year. Also, I would like to add, if you own a pet you might consider harvesting their hairballs and making yourself a nice free blanket.
It’s a bit unfair to blame ITV/Ch4 when John Sergeant is on BBC…