Retro Yakking

In an unprecedented move, Gordon Brown has this morning stepped down from his post as Prime Minister and folded the Labour Party with immediate effect, handing leadership of the country to David Cameron by default.

In a statement made via Internet encyclopedia Wikipedia, Brown proclaimed David Cameron to be a “jolly nice chap with an impeccable dress sense and a right corking sense of humour”. He went on to praise the Conservative Party, saying he had been “a lifelong fan” and citing Margaret Thatcher as a key role model.

Brown will “continue to deal with and take the blame for the country’s economic situation” leaving Mr. Cameron to concentrate on “the cool stuff such as having dinner with Barrack Enbalmer [sic] and playing golf with important people.”

According to the statement, “her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II backs the move and thinks it is about time for somebody far more handsome and intelligent to lead the country”.

Those in the ‘army of supporters’ include Jeremy Clarkson, who thinks a “pea-brained English moron is marginally better than a one-eyed Scottish idiot” on the grounds that Cameron drives a better car (which just so happens to be a Peugeot 106 with manual transmission).

Reports that the statement has been completely made up by a bored backbencher are “wholly unfounded and slanderous”, according to the article, which continues: “nobody in the Conservative Party knows how to work calculators, let alone computers”.

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