Retro Yakking

In days gone by, the travelling man had to navigate the Earth by his own devices, pinpointing his rough location by the position of the sun in the sky, often taking wild guesses that would lead to his death.

How far the human race has advanced since then: man no longer has to fear being eaten by a sea monster or wild elephant thanks to the technical magic of satellite mapping. The essential problem of getting from A to B remains, however, as most of the time even GPS systems have no bloomin’ idea what they’re harping on about.

So, instead of being killed by wild Barbarian hordes, man simply finds himself in Aberdeen when he wanted to go to Clacton. Stupid technology.

GPS Gold

Five places you may well be directed to by your Google GPS.

1. Somewhere, Cornwall, UK. Made famous by the question “are you going Somewhere for your holidays this year?”

2. Somewhere Else, Fife, UK. If Somewhere isn’t good enough, why not go Somewhere Else?

3. Nowhere, Cheshire, UK. You may say: “surely this is somewhere?” Well, we’ve already been there and it sucks.

4. Gordon Bennett, Kent, UK. Aha, so that’s where he lives…

5. And finally, My House, Tamil Nadu, India. It isn’t really my house, so Google gets it wrong again! Incidentally, why would you publicise your house location like that?

So there we have it

Google GPS is good at finding places you don’t want to go. Take it from me, you’re better off using public transport.

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