Apr 26 2009
Howard Webb: “I was proud to be honorary Man United player for the evening”
Webb struts his funky stuff on the Old Trafford turf.
Following Manchester United’s crucial win over Tottenham Hotspur yesterday, we caught up with referee Howard Webb to grab an exclusive interview with the man at the very heart of the excitement.
You’d better like this. It cost, like, £5 and a prawn sandwich to wrangle our way into the Old Trafford VIP section - an area reserved only for extremely high-ranking guests and those invited personally by Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson.
After 45 minutes of the game, Manchester United were 2-0 down, on the whole outplayed and outran by Tottenham’s pacey wide men. Howard Webb explained to our sports correspondent, Harry Yack, how he played his part in turning the tide, and how he became an honorary Man United player for one evening.
Well, Fergie had a word with me at half time and made me see the error of my ways. Tottenham, being a small team, had no right to win at Old Trafford, the home of the champions.
How could I have been so stupid? I now see that both Tottenham’s goals were offside and I should have sent Palacios off. Come to think of it I don’t know why I didn’t send Gomes off too… after all, he was the last defender.
Manchester United were never going to win without a twelfth man, so I took it upon myself to become an honorary Man U man for the evening. Can’t say I liked it much — mixing with the peasants was an unpleasant experience — but you have to do what you have to do.
Now I’m sitting here in the VIP lounge, watching the snooker on this ultra-high def telly and eating an endless amount of grapes fed to me by scantily clad lovelies. Well, as lovely as you can get in Manchester anyway.
And Alex says I can use the lounge all weekend if I like! One could really get used to this…
But it wasn’t all plain sailing for Mr Webb.
Although things worked out alright in the end, the only slight hitch is the hate mail I’m getting from Liverpool fans… but my butler deletes all that junk from my inbox anyway.
Oh, and I’m going to be relegated to the Championship for the rest of the season. But it’s all worth it to see the worst team win. I mean, the best team. The best team won.
Mr. Webb is currently being held in a high security base until the end of the season. He will be let out to referee three Football League games but accompanied by armed heavies the whole time as packs of roving scousers are said to be patrolling the area.
