May 29 2009
Fun facts about… Batman
This month, everyone’s favourite winged mammal becomes a septuagenarian. Yes, Batman has hit the big seven-O.
The Caped Crusader made his first appearance back in 1939, and became so popular that by 1940 he had his very own comic.
Today, he is far more than a mere comic character: he has, at various times, been a brain surgeon, a campaigner against global warming and even President of the United States. Admittedly, most of these have been due to the fact cartoonists could no longer think of original plotlines and new wacky villains for Battie to battle.
But we ought not to begrudge The Dark Knight any of his past glories, for despite the fact he has no real effective weaponry, he has worked his way into the general psyche of the population. Everyone knows who Batman is - if you didn’t see the comic or the television series, then surely you’ll have seen one of his films, cartoons or video games.
True facts about Batman
It’s a widespread misconception that Batman wears a mask to protect his secret identity. In reality, he is hiding the fact that his head is actually fixed onto the rest of his body with a thin layer of sellotape. During a fight with the Joker, it fell off and was fortunately retrieved by Robin, who managed to salvage it just before it was blown to kingdom come.
Something similar happened to Batman’s left leg. For a brief period, Batman could be seen wandering the streets of Gotham City with a peg leg, stumbling from chemist to chemist searching for an effective splinter remover. Thankfully, Spiderman loaned him one of his old legs, which Batman has been using to great effect ever since.
Due to the above, Batman would be able to claim disability benefits but he does not believe in the Welfare State. He does, however, have a blue badge which he uses to park the Batmobile on double yellow lines and in the disabled bay at Tesco. In one humorous incident, Batman was seen to be threatening a parking warden with his Batarang, forcefully stating that he “could not pay the fine” or his secret identity “would be revealed”.
These days, Batman can more often be seen shopping at his local grocery store than fighting supervillains.
For official purposes, Batman uses the name ‘Bat Fish’ on government forms and is actually registered on the census under that name. The real Bat Fish is in fact Battie’s pet goldfish that he flushed down the toilet six years ago. He now has to make do with Bat Cat and Bat Rat for company around the Batcave since Robin joined the crown green bowls club.
These days, Batman scrapes a living helping old ladies across the road for a nickel each time, and occasionally makes seemingly arbitrary appearances in toast and coffee cups. Most of the time, however, he can be seen paying for his groceries at Londis with a seemingly endless supply of pennies, or sat on his porch shouting profanities at passers by.
Happy seventieth birthday, Batman.
