Retro Yakking

You would be forgiven for thinking the world is heading into a deep vortex of no return, what with the troubles in Iraq and Pakistan, bomb blasts, car crashes, and an epidemic that is set to wipe out humanity before the year ends.

But nobody cares about that, because Michael Jackson is dead.

 Jacko’s death, and Missy’s naughty bedroom secret (Daily Sport, bottom left)

An evil scientist is about the drown the Earth in a vat of steaming hot lava, but no-one seems to have noticed. Superman, Batman and all the other superheroes that may possibly have saved us all, but they have all begun a period of mourning for the King of Pop, and refuse to emerge from their respective HQs.

But nobody cares about that, because Michael Jackson is dead.

Fish are still exploding with startling regularity: a leading scientist has claimed that if the problem is not curbed within the next month, it has the potential to cause irreparable damage to large structures and possibly even wipe out humanity.

But nobody cares about that, because Michael Jackson is dead.

The Great tomato ketchup famine continues to rage across North America. Farmers report huge losses which may lead to a worse Recession than was originally thought. Cows are dropping dead from the lack of Vitamin H.

But nobody cares about that, because Michael Jackson is dead.

Farrah Fawcett is dead.

But nobody cares about that, because Michael Jackson is dead. Or is he?

Update: yes, yes he is.

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