Jun 29 2009
Join the Happy Frolicking Friends today and live forever!
Today’s guest post is brought to you by the weird Dutch blokes in short sleeved shirts who patrol the streets with backpacks of an afternoon. We salute you, good sirs!
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Hello, fellow person! Are you unhappy with your current prophet? Then join the Happy Frolicking Friends! There are no rules or obligations except for a mandatory supplement of just £30 a week. But that’s a small price to pay for eternal happiness, we’re sure you will agree.
At the Happy Frolicking Friends, which is certainly not a cult, we prance all day long in meadows and dales to the music of Spiritualised and Pink Floyd.
Oh what a gay time we have, dancing without a care in the world, our hay fever and minor ailments forgotten in the cocktail of mind altering substances we consume on an hourly basis. How else would we rope sane people into the group? Oh, did I say that bit out loud?
The only prophet we idolise is a strange homeless man that we never see, only hear about in tales of yore. Some say he died from an overdose of happiness, which is highly likely as the Happy Frolicking Friends is the happiest group of people in the world!
We offer bonuses of ten happiness points to every other person you recruit to Happy Frolicking Friends, which is definitely not a bizarre sect. Further Necta… er, happiness points are available for completing such tasks as making your monthly donation to the collective coffers.
Best of all, we do not believe in death, only reincarnation of the soul. Everyone comes back as another animal, be it a chicken-toed platypus or toad-chicken hippopotamus. So join us and live forever!
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Editor’s note: I advise you consult your current place of worship before joining dangerous cults. The likelihood with street cults is that you will be roped into a series of bizarre rituals and bad acting for a rather long time. It may also culminate in your actual death, so remember that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Kids, say no to suicide cults. Thank you.
I’m almost sold on your group. One question nags at me:
I like the consuming drugs on the hour thing, in fact I’ve spilled more drugs than most have ever inhaled. But my question is aside from the “…on the hour” thing. What about the other 59 minutes?
Remember: “I drink to make other people interesting”
Bob Dobbs-Church of Slack