Jul 15 2009
The Ashes 2009: Lawnmower racing, streakers and time-wasting tactics
It’s being dubbed The Grasshes 2009. Today, England and Australia will battle it out in the second of four rather unusual challenges organised by Betfair.
Two ex-internationals, Phil ‘The Cat’ Tufnell and Jason ‘Dizzy’ Gillespie will hop on their high-speed mini mowers for the 2009 Ashes Lawn Mower Grand Prix.
Tuffers and Diz have already taken part in a head-to-head pedalo battle, but I won’t spoil the result for you if you haven’t yet seen it on the fanvsfan website. Of course, if Freddie Flintoff had taken part he would have probably sunk before he even reached the start line and would have needed rescuing by a nearby lifeguard.
Betfair reckon there could be some bat-jousting jollity thrown in there for good measure. And with Tuffers’s previous lawnmowing experience and Dizzy’s rather large frame things could certainly get physical as good old-fashioned sledging will do the competitors no good here.
Rumour has it that next year, Ricky Ponting and Andrew Strauss will go head-to-head in a time-wasting contest to see who can make one over last the longest. Strauss may have the edge right now, but there is plenty of time to go yet. Who knows what unsportsmanlike tactics will be employed in the remaining matches of the Ashes summer?
Will England fetch three twelfth men, all ready to improvise a game of football on the outfield at a moment’s notice? Will Australia proceed to eat a large meat pie and bargain bucket in between balls during a Peter Siddle over? Or will all be trumped by a rather agile, greased up streaker that somehow manages to evade its captors for a world-record length of time? I’m hoping for the latter.
Knowing our luck, though, the Sky cameras will probably cut to the batsman retaking his guard whilst a huge roar erupts from the crowd. Come on, we’re missing it you dumb director!
Harry Yack’s Lord’s prediction: Pitch invader to win by one run, and Tuffers to win by a tuft (of grass).
