Aug 01 2009
Exclusive: Coca Cola were prepared to buy Tranmere Rovers via eBay
Peter Johnson, the owner of Tranmere Rovers Football Club, is reportedly furious that a US investor entrusted with finding a buyer for the club put it up for sale on Internet auction website eBay. Bidding started at six million pounds, though the highest offer received in the short time it was listed reached only £25.
People don’t have that kind of money these days. You’d have to be stupid to buy something as big as a football club via the Internet, what with all these viruses and whatnot floating around. What if the club caught swine flu? Then we’d be in trouble! — Peter Johnson
Mr. Johnson need not worry so much about the latter, as it is no doubt only a matter of time before all football clubs will be in just that situation.
Had the club managed to find a buyer, the sale would have made history as the most expensive item ever sold on eBay. As it stands, the current most expensive item was the nation of Great Britain, famously put up for auction by Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
The final asking price was £3,000, which supposedly wiped out some of the country’s debt, but left Britain at the mercy of its ruthless US-based businessman. It is, of course, for this reason that Britons have to put up with endless repeats of Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends and other such American sitcoms of dubious quality.
Retro Yakking can reveal that commercial giants, nay, ultragods Coca Cola were prepared to put up £100 ($5,002) for the purchase of the club, which would have been rebranded Coke Is It! or Pepsi Suck F.C. had their bid been successful. Coca Cola already pretty much own the Football League and are a major contributing factor in professional football’s continued success in times of global financial hardship.
As it stands, Tranmere are still on the hunt for a potential buyers, so if you have six million pounds (or the equivalent in book tokens) to spare, please write to Peter Johnson, Tranmere Rovers FC, c/o Liverpool Football Club, Liverpool.
