Aug 02 2009
Weirdest ever stuff put up for sale on eBay
This week’s revelations that Tranmere Rovers were put up for sale on eBay for a record six million pounds have had many asking the question of whether it’s the strangest thing auctioned online.
Yep, a Football League club is out of the ordinary, and it’s unlikely that we’re going to see another one listed any time soon.
But it’s only one of a number of strange items that have put to the public bidding on the auction site. It’s time to delve into the archives to see if it really is the most unusual thing ever to be auctioned off via the website (I’ll tell you now - it isn’t).
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It’s a little known fact that footballer Carlos Tevez’s much-hyped move from Manchester United to Manchester City was set in motion via eBay. Needless to say, the whole incident left Fergie fuming and throwing football boots at his computer monitor at the sight of Tevez’s final sale figure… £341.56.
A variety of non-existent beings such as a two-horned unicorn and a box of monsters that live under the bed have all been successfully sold via eBay in the past. In fact, there’s a whole underground black market in griffin body parts, otherwise known as ‘Colonel’s crispy wings’.
A jar of green dust, freshly collected from the surface of television screens in electronic appliance shops over the course of three months. The dust was bought by a Somerset farmer. He fed it to his chickens, who died of dehydration.
A tin of baked beans with holes in it, for which the description claimed it had “been orbiting the Earth for over thirty-six months”. It was bought by an anonymous phone bidder who remarked that the product tasted ‘remarkably unsalted’ and ‘a bit like lead’. Better than Tesco baked beans then, eh?
Monday. For a long time it seemed like the most unpopular day of the week would go unsold, but an oil tycoon snapped it up and reclaimed it in the name of Capitalism. Sunday was bought by the death metal band ‘Thrashah’, narrowly outbidding the Anglican Church, who released a statement that ‘God would have His revenge’.
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As a closing comment, let me state that all the items contained in this post were sold second hand as it would be illegal to flog stuff like that brand new. Additionally, no unicorns were harmed during the making of this post, only the feelings of a rather upset five-year-old…
“Mummy, I thought you said you sold the monsters under my bed on eBay!”
“I did, dear, but it looks like some more have arrived.”
“Arrrgh!”
I wonder what the going rate for a box of monsters from under the bed is. I was thinking I might sell the dust bunnies under mine. They breed a lot and are taking over.