Aug 26 2009
Ashes Fever backlash: Not many people like cricket
And now, the revenge of the humorist: a backlash against the Ashes Fever that has gripped this blog for the past week.
When taken as a whole, the world isn’t that crazy about cricket. There’s the 100-odd million people on the subcontinent, plus another 50 million or so from the Commonwealth, but that’s peanuts compared to the amount of people that actually live in the world.
If you get into a fight with anyone from North America, they are more likely to smack you over the head with a baseball bat (or in Canada, a hockey stick) than a cricket bat. In Europe, the weapon of choice varies from a garlic baguette on the Mediterranean to an iron rod or pitchfork in the Eastern Bloc - no willow in sight.
I’m going to move on quickly from here because I seem to remember a similar joke in a Simpsons episode at one point, and that would be bordering on mainstream humour.
Retro Yakking took to the streets to find out peoples’ preferred melee weapons. (Oh, for goodness’ sake… — Ed) Erm, I mean, to get their thoughts on the sport of cricket.
I didn’t like it, it was all about hitting some balls with sticks or something — Unnamed woman on the street (Canal St. at 10PM)
Yes, I like cricket, usually with witchetty grubs and bits of soil. — Explorer Ranulph Fiennes
I once watched a Test match for three days straight without going to the toilet. When I checked, I was clinically dead. — Former PM John Major
It went on for almost five days and still resulted in a draw. What good is a game if there is no result? I want to do other things, like sleep and stuff. Why do you submit me to this torture? — Irate American
Get lost, I’m watching Have I Got News for You. — Mayor of London Boris Johnson
Middle class nonsense. Fetch me another beer. — Working class person who is not northern, because all northerners love cricket, o’ course.
Would you like to go large, sir? — Al’s Fried Chicken attendant
Opps, sorry about that last one: I left the microphone running whilst I went for some dinner. Also, can I have my free Bargain Bucket yet, Al? Surely I’ve referenced your restaurant enough by now.
