Sep 24 2009
A week in Google news: The big alien coverup; Beatles really are bigger than Jesus; Google Map faces
Earlier this week, Retro Yakking reported on Google’s so-called ‘secret alien coverup‘ in which the Internet giant would supposedly reveal they had been employing Martians to work at their California headquarters. As expected, no such admission was made, much to the disgust of conspiracy theorists.
They have to admit to it sooner or later, else we shall leak the government documents we have obtained from the Pentagon! Then they will have no choice but to hand over all their power. Mwhahahah! — Alf Hart, chief UFOlogist at the University of Stupid Conspiracy Theories
As it happened, it was all something to do with H.G. Wells, or something, as Google themselves recently revealed on their weblog. The Internet moguls had been placing clues on their Twitter account for the past few weeks in the run-up to the 143rd anniversary of the War of the Worlds writer’s birth. Many managed to decipher them, though some, it seems, refuse to believe Google’s theory.
It doesn’t make sense. Why celebrate the birthday of a dead person? I don’t celebrate my great-grandfather’s anniversary, and he died over 140 years ago… it all seems a bit fishy to me. — Generic Conspiracist #43
Elsewhere, Google’s Trends facility has this week claimed The Beatles really are bigger than Jesus. This is most likely due to the release of a series of digitally remastered albums by the band, and also the Beatles Rock Band game. Beatles fan Harry Yack notes that it would actually be cheaper, and far more rewarding, to buy a guitar and Beatles songbook, but each to his own.
John, Paul, George and that other bloke are currently more popular than Jesus by virtue of them attaining a higher search volume on the website, or put simply, more people type ‘The Beatles’ into Google than ‘Jesus’. This is likely to be temporary, however, as Tech Watch reports the Christian Church have a plan up their sleeve.
Jesus Rock Band seems the obvious solution, with a selection of 85 belting hymns and a guitar shaped like a crucifix. — Darren Allan, Tech Watch
Retro Yakking approves of this as long as it does not include long, drawn-out sermons that veinly attempt to grasp pop culture by comparing Jesus to Britney Spears and other such modern icons.
But the Big J-Man has been making an appearance elsewhere in the Google network this week: in a sand dune in Peru on Google Maps.
Can you not see the similarities? The eyes, the nose? Well, neither can I, but The Daily Mail (who kindly provided this image) assures us that this really is Jesus. What next, Batman appearing in some hot chocolate?
