Nov 10 2009
Brussels sprouts ‘aren’t just for Christmas’: British Vegetable Association
In the run-up to the winter period, a commercial vegetable growers group has thrown their weight behind a campaign to get Britain eating brussels sprouts again.
Sprouts were once a popular all-year round treat, but due to the rise of the ice cream carrot and chocolate parsnip, have fallen out of favour in recent times. Now, the British Vegetable Association is keen to promote the benefits of the humble sprout in order to prove it is not just a Christmas vegetable.
The flatulence-inducing capacity of the sprout ought to hold it in high esteem, especially amongst the young. However, it seems to be 8-16 year olds in particular who hate them with a passion, an age group famous for its love of bodily functions. We’re campaigning to get British people, particularly kids, sprout-crazy in the run up to the season of the flatulent, namely Christmas. — Sprouty McBrussels, mascot and Chair of the BVA (actually a bloke in a round, green suit)
The BVA plan to ‘make sprouts cool again’, primarily by bribing celebrities to pretend they like the vegetable. A new advertising campaign will see such pop stars as Robbie Williams and some bloke from the Kaiser Chiefs eating sprouts as between-meal snacks as if they were crisps, chocolate bars or lollipops.
Even motoring show Top Gear have been roped in, and next week’s episode will see The Stig drive a five-foot wide, motorised brussels sprout round the track at breakneck speed. Additionally, all three presenters will be forced to eat a plateful of the vegetable before the show’s filming is complete.
Wish we still had the Top Gear dog, I could have fed him the sprouts. That mutt would eat anything, even the bottom of my old jeans which not even I know the origin of. I daresay they tasted much worse that sprouts. — Jeremy Clarkson
The BVA even attempted to get the Queen to give a special mention to the sprout in her Christmas message, but unsurprisingly she turned it down in favour of a more lucrative advertisement for Alexandr Meerkat plush dolls.
Retro Yakking advises against eating brussels sprouts on any other day than 25th December, for original research suggests one in thirty cases of non-seasonal sprout consumption can lead to sproutaneous human combustion.
