Nov 11 2009
Animal/human hybrids to be pondered: Monkey men could soon be a reality
A working group from the Academy of Medical Sciences will meet to discuss the possibility of creating half-human mutants such as gorilla men.
It is public knowledge that numerous mice have already been created with, amongst other things, human DNA.
Now, human knowledge has expanded to such an extent that creatures such as fishmen and dogmen could well be possible in the next ten years.
It’s indeed very exciting. Using computer simulations, we’ve already constructed a half-man, half-cat to steal milk from benefit thieves’ doorsteps and a particularly gruesome half-man, half monster hybrid which we’ve named Wayne Rooney. Early results have been very successful - Wayne’s mate recently gave birth. — AMS spokesman Robert Freegun
Some may argue such ‘mutant’ creations have already been around for many years. The big cats that roam the plains of urban England are definitely ‘panthermen’, at least according to some drunk bloke I just met on the street. And if you were off your head on Special Brew, you would also be able to see pink human-elephant hybrids.
Scientists have refused to either deny or confirm the rumours that such beings already walk among us in a Men In Black-style scenario, but evidence — namely the primary presenters of The One Show — suggests this is actually more than likely.
Rumours are now spreading that mutants from the future have returned via the Large Hadron Collider to cover up all traces of their existence. This view is misguided, however, as it does not account for Rick Wakemen or Jedward. I have absolutely no idea who the latter is but everyone seems to be talking about him all of a sudden, so he probably has something to do with it.
