The more I use it, the more I realise the web is literally full of websites parodying current affairs Onion-style. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it’s the in-thing amongst Internet trendy types looking to make a quick buck or two off the back of popular culture’s, erm, popularity.

It seems we can’t get enough of them, however. Fresh ones are springing up seemingly by the day, and older ones are crawling back out of the woodwork for a bit of a smoke in the web’s lunch hour. Things are becoming so competitive it can often be hard to separate the real truth from the glorious fabrication, evidence the web is continuing the proud tradition of such red-tops as The Daily Sport and The Dandy.

Here’s a selection of some of my favourite such websites that parody some of the more established news outlets.

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OH NO! What happened to my BBC2?! Agh! — You

Thanks to an extended period of investigation, or at least fiddling around with the buttons on my Freeview remote control, I have been able to ascertain exactly which methods will be most effective in the battle against the digital switchover. More specifically, I’ve produced this handy step-by-step guide to retuning your digital set top box especially for those of you still struggling to figure out what’s going on.

Before we start, you really should read this informational post from last month. Though it refers to the previous retune on 1st October, many tips still apply to the current situation.

Still perplexed? Follow these simple instructions and don’t sweat it so much. (more…)

Google have sensationally declared the Cookie Monster’s 40th birthday as more important than Bonfire Night by choosing to use Sesame Street as the subject of their 5th November doodle (pictured above).

Shocked internet users have taken to Twitter to moan about the injustice in their droves, whilst others have resorted to the drastic measure of directly emailing the California-based company to complain about the issue. Yet more have sent hate mail to the Cookie Monster himself:

I h8 Cookie Monster. Hes a blue piece of bumfluff. i want to stick a Catherine wheel up his bum and watch him spin round like a windmill. — Anonymous Twitter user

We shall give them the benefit of the doubt, however, as the expected doodle could well appear on Saturday. As everyone knows, a lot of 5th November parties occur on the nearest weekend to Bonfire Night, so they could still redeem themselves, but our money is on them not even knowing what Guy Fawkes Night is. They don’t celebrate it in America, remember.

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At 11.30AM yesterday, Welephant complained of a sore stomach and went for a lie down. Firemen found him immobile half an hour later and immediately called an ambulance. Specialists confirmed the mascot was suffering from the severe side effects of an overdose of elephant sedative he had been taking to help him sleep during loud firework displays.

I don’t get it. I read on the Internet that RSPCA advice was to supply animals with sedatives, so when I saw old Welly really struggling to get to sleep I rushed out to London Zoo and picked up a supply of Xylazine they just so happened to have lying about the place. He seemed fine until the next day, when he started to look drowsy and distant. He looked OK whilst drinking his mug of mud, but started to deteriorate from then on. — Robert Freegun, Welephant’s carer

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This week marks the twentieth anniversary of plasticine stop motion stars Wallace and Gromit, an event brought to my attention by today’s Google doodle (pictured above).

In celebration, Aardman have posted a twenty-minute feature with animator Nick Park at the W&G Official site. In it, the Academy Award-winning creator is asked twenty specially selected questions posed to him by members of the fan club. Or at least, the website.

In fact, I think I’ll be so generous as to just leave it here for you so you don’t have to go to all that hassle of clicking around. How rather thoughtful of us, eh? Video is on the other side of the break, though thankfully not a commercial one.

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Of course, there are steps one can take to keep pets safe and protected during events such as Bonfire Night. However, there are numerous misconceptions about what is best for each animal, which is why Retro Yakking has provided this handy cut out and keep (or at least bookmark) guide to the dos and don’ts for pet owners on Bommy Night.

Do: Take your dog for a walk before fireworks start to be let off so they are physically and mentally tired out, making them more likely to lie down and ignore the loud bangs and sparks going off outside.

Don’t: Allow your dog to set off fireworks. It can be a danger to children and even result in the dog getting an ASBO or curfew imposed upon them by the local police.

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To reiterate, these posts take a website, item or (in this case) celebration and pick it apart, whilst conveniently ignoring the many good points of said thing. Confused? Go to the Encyclopedia of Stupid for more of the same. Still don’t get the idea? No? Never mind.

So apparently 5th November is also called Guy Fawkes Night, at least according to Wikipedia, but I’ve always known it as Bonfire Night, or ‘Bommy Neet’. For those who haven’t heard of this ‘celebration’, it’s a massive excuse to stick fireworks up peoples’ bottoms and just generally blow stuff up. Brilliant, eh? Think of it as Thanksgiving without the turkey and in-laws.

But it isn’t all fun and games. Some, mainly firemen, might argue that it’s the worst night of the year, and I tend to share this view. Not because I’m an old cynic who would put Ebeneezer Scrooge to shame, rather I find it a tired old traditional piece of poopy that belongs in the seventeenth century.

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Formula One’s World Championship draws to a close today with the destination of the title already decided. Britain’s Jenson Button secured the 2009 crown two weeks ago at Brazil’s Interlagos circuit by gaining sufficient points to open up enough of a gap to his nearest rivals, meaning today’s race has no bearing on the destination of the title.

The last time a British person even came close to achieving such a feat was more than fifteen years ago. Mr. Barry Cello, an old age pensioner from Cheadle Hulme, won the British Grand Prix on a shopmobility scooter modified by his grandson. In a wet race, the vehicle’s extra weight and small wheel base allowed Mr. Cello to stay on track whilst all around him were crashing into barriers and tyre walls.

It was a comfortable victory in the end, as the only other competitor, Italian former world champion Luca Pizza, finished seventeen laps down due to a technical fault (Mr. Cello spent the morning smashing the engine with his walking stick).

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